Divorce - Yes the Big "D" word.  I had grown up to believe that once you married, you stayed married for better for worse, til death do you part.  I had to question that throughout my first marriage....was death by natural causes or by our own hands?  Luckily for me, it wasn't through the death of any living being, but by death of the marriage.

     My first marriage ended after 20 years of both mental and physical abuse as well as my ex-husband's adultery.   I had to grieve as if it was a death in the family, before I could take the next step in life.  I was angry, hurt, guilt ridden, revengeful...you name it, the mass amounts of emotion was streaming through every being of my body.   But what I had to come to realize; and fairly quickly I might add, I had two wonderful children that needed me as well as the person who needed me the most....."ME".

     Before I could love anyone else, I had to love myself.  No matter what I looked like, how much I weighed, or how much money I had.  I had to love me, for me.   They say, that time heals all wounds, and as much as I would love to say that is true, it is somewhat misleading.  It may heal the wound, however, the scar is with you for life.  It is how you deal with the scar, that sets you apart and lets you live and love again.

     By the end, my divorce took 4 years and lots of money.  The only winners in this deal was diffently the lawyers if you are looking at the financial side of matters.  But if you are looking at the life side...I definitely won hands down.  Today, I am happily re-married to a wonderful man in the military for the past 4 1/2 years.  We have known each other for 6 1/2 years and our relationship continues to grow daily.  We communicate about everything!  We value each other on not only what we have in common, but even the things that make us different.  We don't want to change who we are, but to grow as a couple.  Is our life perfect...absolutely not, but we don't give up on each other, we work hard at our marriage, because it is easy to give up, but rewarding at the other end when you try!